Is The Life You're Earning The Life They're Yearning?
Responsibility is the price of the life you want to build.
Kickstart Quote
“In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” — Benjamin Franklin
Real Talk
For years… decades… I poured myself into work. I filled nearly every waking moment with work. I did this for a lot of reasons… at the time I thought it was because I had to provide financially for my family. Over the last couple years, I’ve discovered something about myself that reveals that to have been a lie.
I was escaping and numbing the pain in my life with distraction. Busy work masked as producing and providing. I was avoiding responsibility at home… for what I said mattered most… and replacing it with responsibility elsewhere.
I thought I was providing a lifestyle for my children. I was earning what I felt it took to provide for them financially and physically. I missed the mark in not providing the life they were yearning for. They didn’t want more of the things I could provide. They wanted more of me.
Now that they’re teenagers and want less and less of me, I find myself wanting more and more of them. I’ve learned the error of my ways, and I’m working hard to make up for it. The bill has come due, and I’m paying it… whether I want to or not.
Listen friend. Every April, millions of men sit down at the table with a calculator, a laptop, and a stack of forms… maybe a neutral third party to help process it all. Some get refunds. Others write checks. Either way, the day carries the same message: the bill eventually comes due. Taxes are really just the visible reminder of something bigger working under the surface of our lives.
- The habits you build.
- The discipline you practice.
- The way you treat people.
- The way you handle money.
Eventually, those choices come back around. In our health, we can either make the time intentionally now to be fit and healthy, or be forced to find the time to be sick, injured, and hurting down the road. Either way, the bill comes due. I’m learning now… after a lifetime of unhealthy nutrition and fitness habits… that I chose poorly. I’m paying the bill that has come due with time.
In the fire service, preparation is the same way. The work you put in during training doesn’t feel urgent in the moment. Then when the 911 call comes in, the bill comes due. Either the preparation was there, or it wasn’t. There’s no escaping it. Fatherhood works like that too.
The time you invest in your kids today pays dividends years later. The discipline you practice with your money, your character, and your leadership now in this moment determines the kind of life your family gets to live. The hard conversations today make life easier down the road.
Responsibility isn’t punishment. It’s the price of building something meaningful.
Self-Check Prompt
Where am I making decisions today that will eventually send a bill to my future self?
Follow-up:
If the consequences of those choices arrived a year… or maybe even six months… from now, would I be grateful for the decisions I’m making today?
Man-in-Action Move
Use Tax Day as a moment to look at more than numbers. Ask yourself three questions this week:
- Where is my money going?
- Where is my time going?
- Where is my attention going?
Those three things reveal what you’re actually building. Small adjustments now prevent bigger regrets later.
One Last Thing: A Bonus Thought from the Forge
For most people, April 15 is tax day: Deadlines, forms, and numbers. Maybe a refund. Maybe a bill. In our home, April 15 is something completely different. Back in 2001, on the same day most Americans were thinking about paperwork and tax returns, my wife and I stood in a courtroom and finalized the adoption of our daughter from the foster care system.
While the world was focused on numbers, our family was focused on something far more meaningful: A new beginning.
I remember walking out that day with paperwork in my hand that had nothing to do with taxes. It was the kind of document that changes a family forever. Moments like that put life in perspective and remind you what really matters.
Providing for a family is important. Working hard is important. Paying your bills is part of being a responsible man. And, the real wealth in a man’s life isn’t measured on a tax form. It’s measured in the people you love, the children you raise, and the family you build.
What looks like an ordinary date on the calendar for most became one of the greatest blessings our family has ever received, reminding me that sometimes the most meaningful days in life arrive disguised as ordinary ones. We’re just too often hyper-focused on other things to notice the eternal consequences in what otherwise appears to be the seemingly mundane.
Forge Forward
If you want to build a life with intention instead of drifting into it,
visit FiveArrowsForge.com and continue strengthening the mindset that leads families well.
Call Your Shot
What is one responsible decision you will make this week that your future self will thank you for? Bless me with a comment or reply. And if this message hits home for you, share it with a dad who’s working hard to build a life that lasts.
Have a blessed day. Go BE the blessing.
Until next week,
Stay sharp. Aim true. Make an impact. Create a legacy.
— Jason
This is a great piece that let me to reflection. Happy Gotcha day to your family!!!
Nodding vigorously at this: "I thought I was providing a lifestyle for my children. I was earning what I felt it took to provide for them financially and physically. I missed the mark in not providing the life they were yearning for. They didn’t want more of the things I could provide. They wanted more of me.
"Now that they’re teenagers and want less and less of me, I find myself wanting more and more of them."