Kickstart Quote
“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” — Oprah Winfrey
Real Talk
The people around you matter more than most people realize.
Over time, you start to think like the people you spend time with. You talk like them. You carry yourself like them. You start adopting their standards, their mindset, and their expectations… without even noticing it.
That can work in your favor, or it can quietly pull you off course.
When I was first hired as a firefighter, my crew was assigned to me. I didn’t get a choice who I would work and live with for 24-48 hour shifts. I found myself with two senior guys who were… disgruntled. Bitter. They were Negative Nellie’s. Always had something negative or disparaging to say… about everything, and everybody.
It took me over a year to break into their circle of trust enough to open up with me and let me in… though they each still safeguarded a piece of themselves from me. There were days I thought my positive energy and enthusiasm… my love for the job… was winning them over and drawing them back toward that part of themselves that loved the job once.
Over time, what I found to be the reality was the opposite. I was absorbing their negative energy and disgruntled attitude. And I was taking that on as my own identity. I found the best parts of me eroding, and I was slowly becoming the Negative Nellie. So I left that crew as soon as I could, because it wasn’t who I wanted to be. The job had become emotionally and physically draining. I still loved the job, and I wanted to approach it with the mindset that reflected that love and passion… not one that had adopted the mindset of the men around me.
I see it now within every crew in my fire district. Members absorb and take on each other’s personas and meld them together into one new one… each crew unique in their mannerisms, speech, and behavior based on the unique dynamics and personalities of each man on that crew… becoming one.
What I learned through that experience, and in working with different crews over the following years, is that the culture of a station matters. When you’re surrounded by men who train hard, stay sharp, have fun, are positive, and take pride in their work, it raises the standard for everyone.
The opposite is true too.
- Energy spreads
- Mindsets spread
- Complacency catches on and grows
If you’re looking, you’ll find this happens in everyday life tool Some men challenge you to grow. Others remind you who you are at your best. Some create space for honesty, accountability, and connection. And some relationships keep you small and immature.
As men, we need connection. We need good men around us. Not because we can’t stand on our own, but because strong men sharpen each other.
That’s how growth multiplies. Not through isolation. Through community.
Self-Check Prompt
Who are the men in my life currently influencing my mindset, habits, and direction? What qualities in those relationships are helping me grow into the man I want to become? Which ones are holding me back from the man I want to become?
Man-in-Action Move
Reach out to one good man this week. Not for networking. Not because you need something. Just connection. Send a text. Make the call. Grab coffee. Start the conversation. And while you’re at it, ask yourself another question:“How can I become the kind of man who strengthens the people around me?”
Because healthy brotherhood works both ways.
Forge Forward
If you want to continue building strong relationships, stronger leadership, and deeper connection, visit me at FiveArrowsForge.com and continue the work alongside other men who are growing with intention.
Call Your Shot
Who is one man in your life you want to connect with or invest in more intentionally this week? Drop a comment or reply. And if this message resonated, share it with a man who has positively shaped your life.
Closing Thought
The right men around you won’t pull you backward. They’ll call you forward. I’m blessed to have found a posse of men who lift me up and call me forward… men who fill my emotional and spiritual tank rather than empty it. I found these men in F3… a leadership development organization wrapped up as a FREE men’s workout group.
If you don’t have men like this in your life, and you’re NOT a part of F3, I encourage you to check it out and find a workout near you. All it’ll cost you is your time… and you’re worth that.
Have a blessed day. Go BE the blessing.
Until next week,
Stay sharp. Aim true. Make an impact. Create a legacy.
— Jason